I am doing good and having a time of deep thinking as well. That is rare for me because I am not a deep thinker. I think after 2 months of being here, I am finally able to reflect on our time in America.
It was great, yet too stressful and in some ways unhealthful. I am realizing that I am not good at this life of transition. I don’t turn to the Lord like I should and I am glad to know that so that I can change. I turn to other things to comfort/distract me. That is one reason why I gained 40 pounds last year. I really have a problem and am seeking to change for good. God is graciously calling me to Him and He is my true help and Savior.
I realize that I am having this problem that I feel like I am just surviving and not really “living.” Deut 30:20 was a real eye opener…"For the Lord is your life." And these verses came to minds--- He came to give us life... When, Christ, who is your life appears...
I don’t know how to cope emotionally with the life God has called us to. But suddenly these verses made it so clear… this is not my home, America is not my home. My life is Him. My home is Him. He is THE constant and everything else are just circumstances.
I am also starting to realize the transitional lifestyle we have, is part of my call. I have been trying to stop the changes and trying to control them. I realize that we have been called to a life like Moses in some ways to wander and follow Him throughout the wilderness.
I guess to sum it up, it is a season of dying to self.
5 comments:
Becca,
I was blessed to read your honest, heartfelt thoughts. I think this is something that we work on until we are finished here. Living in our "earth suits" as our pastor calls it. We need to turn to the Lord first and not as an afterthought--He is always there and ready to commune with us, but you are right--we turn to distractions. I do it myself daily!
Thankfully, He is so patient and yearns to help us. He is transforming our lump of clay into His reflection. Like transforming those dull little caterpillars into a radiant butterfly. He does that all the time!
I have been facing and am uneasy about my upcoming transition into a much more challenging job and still not feeling very physically strong. I need to remember Where to turn first for every moment of my day. Thank you for sharing today!
Love, Kerri
Becca,
Thank you for sharing your reflections with us. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when you share your heart. I think that the Lord is revealing himself to you in new ways. Ways that are unique to your lifestyle. Not many of us are in a "Moses" lifestyle when it comes to living away from home and being on the move so often. I am sure that it is difficult. I am sure that it is tiring. The wonderful part is that God will be with you as you "wander your deserts" in Mongolia. I'm not saying that your life is bleak--but that the Lord is by your side even as you are so far away. I suppose that Paul summed it up best when he shared the profound task of finding contentment in the Lord.
"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Hang in there Becca. The Lord will reveal sweet treasures to your heart as you discipline yourself to stay near his side.
I love you, dear friend. And I love your raw, real, and transparent self. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. God will bless you for your humility and bring you closer to Himself because of your desire to make Him #1. You struggles are my struggles in many ways, and I praise God for our relationship and how you encourage me to rely LESS on my strength and MORE on His.
Love you.
As I have read and reread your thoughts and what is on your heart, you have touched my heart. I believe He graciously calls all of us to Him but we are too busy avoiding Him and the work He wants to do in our lives. I know for myself that He is changing dynamics in my relationships. Jesus wants me to come and sit at His feet and for me to listen. Just to listen and not tell Him what I think or want. He already knows these things, Jesus wants my devotion and loyalty and love. The most amazing part of His work in my life is that it is all motivated by love and love alone. He and only the Lord knows exactly what I need and He is truly the only answer to my brokenness and weaknesses. So the journey continues and my prayer is that I will sit at His feet and surrender all to Him. That is my prayer for you too, to find Him in your struggles and your needs. I love you so much! You are always on my heart and in my prayers. I thank God for such a wonderful daughter! You are such a gift from God.
Love Mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Thanks for all your sweet comments and reflections. It is good to share these things together- the real life.
Post a Comment