More thinking...

I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. I can't stop, which is good. This is thinking that should have been going on for a long time.

This isn't terribly organized because my mind is still working through it. But here it is...

Colossians 3 has been coming to mind again and again. How funny because when I was 18 I memorized this passage, it is really part of my heart and keeps coming to me.

The circumstances of life don't really change my true life... my life is hidden with Christ in God.
"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory... Col 3

This passage begins with:
"Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set you minds on the things above not on earthly things." The things above are real life, eternity.
That is much longer than the dot of this life that passing flower here today and gone tomorrow.

It ends with
Therefore, as God's chosen people holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. .... Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you where called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you... whatever you do whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Maybe this is how to live this life that is really eternal... to do all in the name of the Lord Jesus and in his strength.

The circumstance of life are just a passing thing. I could be living in a mansion on the hill and experiencing the same type of doubt and emptiness about life.

God knew that I wouldn't ever see my need though if I were there. I had to be here, with the different circumstances of life thrown in my face, the the pace of my life at a grinding halt with nothing to distract my mind, with more chores than I can do and the failure of my housekeeping thrown in my face, with the poverty of my neighbors so terrifyingly real, with my little children needing direction and constant supervision and the fact that I am so selfish and just want my own time and space, and the lack of a tongue that can speak this language well enough to have a close friend.

This is where I needed to be to hear the whisper of God calling to me... Thanks be to God that I finally heard, that somehow I understand that my life is not this or that. It is Him. Although that is undefined about what that actually means, I am grateful to know it. May I learn to say with Paul, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4