It's 70 degrees!

I've lived through enough winters to know that this is fake spring and that tomorrow may bring snow.  But for now, the children are outside in their sandals, stomping through puddles and soaking wet with the thawing snow.

And I know I am a summer girl. I CAN'T wait to have the kids out of school.  To be outside and see them out digging in the yard. To see them laughing with friends.  To wear flip flops, drive with the window down and turn the radio on loud.  Truly the best times of life! :)  To sit in the sun like a cat in a chair with my favorite magazine.  This is how life is supposed to be, you know? (You know the fake Becca world in my mind?!)

We walked for an hour today.  I took the kids to the only cafe in town, it was nice.  They ate Doritos. ( I was pleased they didn't even know the name of them!) Weston called them spicy chips! :)  They drank Sprite and I watched their faces turn that yucky, but addicting, color of orange and I even smiled when they wiped it on their shirts.

Now I'm going to get some meat to grill before supper! 

(Not meat to barbeque before dinner, we're Iowaians now, you know!)

One of my faves...

Have you ever seen "Overboard?" 

It is one of my favorite movies.  I suppose it's not that great.  I'm sure it didn't win any awards, but he lines are so comic.

It's about a rich snobby lady that doesn't like a carpenter's work and she refuses to pay him for the closet he built for her.  Later in the movie, she has amnesia and is tricked to work for the carpenter.  He is a single father and leads her to believe that she is his wife and that they have four boys.

She cleans up and tries to learn to cook and in the end turns their yucky house into a home.

One day when the man gets home, he finds her incoherent.  He dumps her in the water barrel and she when she comes up for air she says,

"I don't belong here, I feel it.  Don't you think I feel it? I can't do any of these vial things and wouldn't want to!  My children are the spon of hell and you're the devil."

There is something about it that makes me howl with laugher.  Peter thinks I'm crazy.  But watching her try to do housework and having no idea how to do it makes me crack up. 

It shows the difficulty (and benefit) of keeping house.  Housekeeping makes me feel the way she looks and her classic line, "I can't do any of these vial things and I wouldn't want to."   Just makes me crack up.

Secondarily, the line, "I don't belong here, I feel it, don't you think that I feel it?"   Let's just say, I really started liking this movie after living in Mongolia.  Watching this poor lady suffer in the movie, is a mini-picutre of culture shock and something about this scene really connects with me and because Goldie Hawn is a master, it can make me laugh at myself.  :)

Seasons

Ah it's a season,"
I used to hate that expression. It seemed so blazze and lame. That is because most of my life, I've been in a good season. :)

Recently it's been a L O N G season of waiting, wondering and trial.
I guess I find it hard to write here because I don't want to be a complainer, but things have been a little on the difficult side, yet good enough to live and be happy.

and I'm ready for this season to be over.

I'm ready for a season of peace and rest and normalcy.

We'll see...........................

Settlers

Have you ever played the Settlers of Catan? It's a strategy game about choosing your postion on the board, getting resourses based on decisions and probablities of the dice, and gaining property. It is a game that starts with great hope. I find myself thinking of my great choice about where to position my settlements and roads, but all too soon my plans are dashed on the rocks; sometimes they are dashed my other players and sometimes by poor luck.

Not so much different than real life, huh? We start life with such great hopes and then they are changed by reality and sometimes we are dashed on the rocks. Life sucks and then you die....

Yes, this is very discouraging, however true.

This also is just a look from the outside. This season has been one of those dashed on the rocks sort of times. However, I'm enjoying life and have become stronger because of it.

You know what is also stronger? My marriage and friendship with Peter. We are "Settlers of Earth" together and recently it has been no picnic. However, we communicate better and are closer than when we started this dashed on the rock existance.

Settlers of Catan is also a good use of communication. Peter and I are deciding so many things about how to be "Settlers of Earth" together. Sometimes these discussions are just a muddled, angry or emotional mess. Today I tried a new technique.

Real life is so similar to Settlers of Catan, a bunch of decisions, thoughts, strategies and luck. So today when our wonderful discussion about the "what ifs" of our future began, I said, "Let's look at this like Settlers of Catan." This brought on all kinds of successful non-stressful conversations about the strategy that is our life.

It sounded like this:
"If we were playing Settlers, what would be the best use of our resources?" If we were playing Settlers, would this be worth saving resources to buy?" "If we were playing Settlers, how would this current decision effect our next?"

It made our daily battle of "what ifs" much more enjoyable. :)

Next I'll be writing a book, "Your Marriage According to Settlers of Catan." I'm going to make millions... :)

Speaking of writing, I'm working on a children's book. Thanks for all your encouragement here to write something. Because since I'm a Settler Of Earth, I better find a resourceful and possibly lucritive way to spend my time!

"too close for missiles, i'm switching to guns"

Name that quote... Top Gun. Repeated in the Hurley house until it is a piece of family culture.

Well I'm too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns. I am on total overload.

Did you know that change is external, but transition is internal?

We expect ourselves to transition as quickly as things change, but that doesn't happen. The brain needs time to catch up with the body.

External example: jet lag. This is why air travel throws you for a loop. At least if we were on a boat trans-versing the ocean our mind would have time to catch up. (but oh, how I'm thankful that I'm not on a boat right now)

But life doesn't wait... it seems on arrival from such a big change that relief should come or that there would be a sense of closure. I'm sad to say, that's not so. That is reserved for heaven alone. Rest- come to me you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. For my yolk is easy and my burden is light. hmmm?

So I'm on full shut down mode... I need to allow myself the time to transition.

It's so easy to just say to myself and the kids, pull it together, it's not that big of a deal, but it really is.

There i said it, not complaining, and still thankful for this strange life, but it is a big deal. It's not as if we were on vacation. That was our life. and that life and work are gone and there is no clarity on the future and my house is in ruins.

Because with the last years of inward transition and internal change in Mongolia, I'm not the same. I never will be. I'm odd to the core... it won't go away. So how to deal with something new? Change yet again. chameleon

Things that indicate you should cut yourself some slack:

1. You feel as though you could hyperventilate at any moment...
2. everything drives you crazy.
3. You burst into tears because you're listening to the radio
4. You ignore enormous suitcases and focus on things that aren't needed right this minute like, getting a new fridge and researching odds and ins
5. When you open said suitcases- hyperventilating and crying come to mind.
   
6. You've only slept 12 hours in the last 4 days.
7. All you want to eat is sugar
8. 
   

So tomorrow I'll be in full shut down mode.
Eating just apples... praying... listening to the sermons I missed from church and sifting through the house... thankfully the kids are with grandma and I can do that. :)

hello i'm not dead... :)

Sorry I've been in a whirlwind and not blogging. I have run half marathons and 10Ks, substitute taught for elementary and preschool, and I have lost 15 more pounds and reached my goal weight! I have held down the fort alone here while Peter was helping with the disaster relief in Japan. Whew!

I have been to Minnesota and am starting in a new ministry with the mission to help connect with young new missionary women. I'm really stoked about that. I just had a training and part of the training was to learn a bit about life coaching. OH HOW THIS STOKED me out. I need a life coach. So many ideas, and not enough intentionality to do them.

A life coach basically helps people to understand what they want and why and then establish where they are in reaching that point. Then they would help the person make small steps of change in both action and perspective to reach their ideal. :)

The woman who spoke to us about it was truly talented and really inspiring. I can imagine getting a life coach and experiencing this amazing process, then doing the training and becoming a life coach. I would love it. You know why? I am always looking to change and grow, and I believe it's possible, with God's help to change! :O)

In that vain,

I have been wracking my brain about how to school the children next year. I know that Sierra and Weston are doing OK, however, I don't think either of them are thriving. I would love to be intentional to allow them to thrive.

I have some great ideas, but I know I need help to get there. Today I may have found a great option for me and for the children.

More to come tomorrow... sorry I've got to run.

we are never the same...

Somethings about living overseas have changed me and made me different. I am still me, of course, but there are times that I just chuckle.

In Mongolia, we eat gobs and gobs of cabbage. I didn't particularly love cabbage. but guess what? I love it now. If I don't have it in the house, I want it. I like it in salads, on tacos, in soup, steamed with curry, steamed with just salt. I love it.

When I chop cabbage, i chop it Mongolian style. I could NEVER get mine as thin as they do. They cut it machine thin. I don't know how. They call my cabbage cuts--- "ohur bitsza" that means cow cabbage, as in large and wide like a cow! So now I pull out the ohur bitsza and I don't include these fatter pieces in my salads. Guess who comes running for the cow pieces?

My kids. They beg for it like a treat. They come back to the cutting board, right by my side and try to steal it. I have to hold back their fingers and tell them to wait as I get closer to the stem where all the best ohur bitsza grows. Then they run away happily munching on cabbage.

Hard week

It is hard to write when I feel down. This women did it so beautifully today. I am amazed by her writing so often.

I love that verse
You have recorded my troubles.
You have kept a list of my tears.
Aren’t they in your records?
Ps 56:8

Last year was a bit of a struggle. Sierra is slowly getting better. Yet, the cloud of denial and hope of a quick recovery is slipping away, she is most likely on a very long road. I want to cry for her, I want to cry for me. I want to cry for Peter. I want to cry for her education. I want to cry for her friendships that can't be. I want to cry for her teacher. I want to cry for a life that is far away. I want to cry for all the unknown of our future.

Sometimes I do, but all too often I don't cry. I keep it locked deep in my soul and heart and "handle it." I'm thankful for that sometimes. Things need to be handled, life taken care of laundry folded and tucked away, toilets scrubbed and children fed.

But if God cares enough for my tears, so much that He keeps them written in his book, I should let them fall and let Him love me. He knows my frame. He knows I am but dust. He is not a God that is not acquainted with my weaknesses. He lived a life so fully man that he knows the crap of this earth and the pain it doles out.

So cry I will.

"may your troubles last as long as your new years resolutions"

Because I'm slow sometimes, the first time I read that, I thought, "that's mean." The second time I read it, I chuckled. Isn't that true? Pie crust promises easily broken,

However, I am hopelessly flawed. I need to change. I need to improve. Realistically.

Peter recently made an interesting observation, "being creative, cheap and clean is impossible." So true. I have so many projects in my mind. Beneath the veneer of wanting to be a "good housekeeper" and a woman who has it all togetether, is a girl who wants to paint a terribly unskilled mural on the wall, strap on a backpack and explore the world, and be the artsy fartsy that is deep down in there. Then two seconds later, it's the women who wants the counter cleared off and every speck of laundry either neatly put away or piled up and burned. :)

Peter, being my senior, nearly 37, has embraced his flaws and says that 's just the way he is and his is secure in that. I told him though, his flaws are more culturally acceptable than mine. He is someone who constantly likes to be busy in a world that values hard work and production. So his flaw of not resting when needed is far more acceptable than my flaws. Someone who wants to turn their back on order, neatness and create something in the midst of chaos is not acceptable, right?

That is why cooking suits me. I can create something right in the kitchen in the midst of the my messy home and it's acceptable because I'm producing something that must be made, dinner!

Anyhow, my friends, I feels good to be able to think again and write out my tangled thoughts because Peter, my love, is home again and playing Legos with my beautiful children. The orderly me has had time to empty the dishwasher, put away the breakfast tornado and throw in a load of laundry.

The artsy fartsy me sits here and thinks while I do these terribly mundane, yet necessary, things and then must blog. I must have Pandora going, I let me be me or else I die inside and am not who God created me to be. And guess what? That's ok because Peter knows me and still loves me and together we are a very complete person... Thank God for that.

Resolutions?
I want to learn more about photography. I have watched some lessons on YouTube and I am posting a picture a day to Facebook- not too hard. Kind of artsy, yet realistic.

Real change from the inside out?-- I want to read through the Bible with the church we attend here in Redlands, Trinity. They are making this years theme, "The Year of the Bible." A little guide has been issued called, "Route 66" a route through the 66 books of the Bible. It is realistic because there are only 28 readings a month and a reflection day each week- realistic because I'm behind already! There is a blog that gives a short devotional each day. The blog has a link to read the section there, or I can click on the button that says, "listen" and it will read it to me! Interested? Click here. There is a place to subscribe to the daily devotional (to remind me of this choice) and to print the route.

Happy New Year. May you be you and may you change in the ways you want from the inside out!

Thoughts

I'm studying Revelations at a Bible study. We are studying Beth Moore Here and Now.

Something that struck me this week from the study:
In chapter one Christ goes through the churches and tell them what they do that pleases Him and what they do that displeases Him.

To Ephesus He tells them he is proud of them because they have persevered and worked hard. But is disappointed in them because they have lost their first love- Himself, Jesus.

Beth pointed out that Jesus will tell us exactly what we need to change in the form of distinct conviction from the Spirit. It will be specific!

In contrast, the enemy will just give you the thought that you are not good enough, that you are scum, that you are a lowly slimebag that should just stay where you are and wallow. This land of blahs is not conviction from the Lord.

I'm letting go of the lie that God really doesn't like me because I am a loser or scum or lazy. God isn't just loving, He is love. WOW. God hates my sin, but He loves me. He loves the whole world. Imagine that grace! It made my day!

Calling?! ??

I have some random thoughts about the concept of a call.

Missionaries use that word, but I think everyone has a calling to one thing or another: you were created for good works that God planned for you before the beginning of time. An example of this is our kids' teachers- both having taught school for several decades. Sure, sometimes they may not have wanted to do that, but it was in them to do it, and they were faithful to keep doing it.

I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were called to go to Mongolia. I know that we were supposed to give it all away, say tearful, heart wrenching goodbyes and hop on a plane with our baby and go. I know it from the depths of my soul.

I know that God wanted the people of Sukhbaatar to hear about Jesus' saving grace and His death and resurrection that saves all people from the world of sin and themselves. Even if we played support roles in that initially, God wanted us there. That is all there is to it. God didn't need us to go to Mongolia, He could have made the rocks cry out in perfect Mongolian the message of grace and love.

The reason why I feel that I must shout it from the rooftops is because we are here now. After five short years obviously He has brought us home for now. Several conversations that I have had people make reference to the fact, that obviously we were mistaken and that we were not called to go because if we were, we wouldn't be here now. And now in my blog world I must tell you, my friends, that that is just untrue and wrong.

Just because things are difficult doesn't mean that God is not in it. I am venting a bit of pent up emotion- it is just untrue that if there is trouble or heartache that God isn't in it.

Look at Noah, Moses, and Jesus himself. Jesus' cry to the Lord when He knows he is going to die a horrible death, "if it is possible to take this cup from me," is such a comfort. He knew discomfort was coming. He was human, He didn't want to die. Even Jesus in such a time asked to not have to die. "but your will be done." He was willing to be lead and obey even in death.

All this to say is that I know that God has us on a road, I don't know where it is leading but He has us moving through, as aliens and strangers on this earth. I hope and pray we are obedient to follow when it is clear God wants us to go.

Faith- thoughts and wanderings

Faith is a wonderful word.

Faith in Someone bigger and better than me. Faith that He understands, and it's OK that I don't.

Faith and hope what a wonderful pair. Finishing with love....


running in the wind, hair blowing wild,
giggles in a tent on special nights camping,
walking on the beach collecting shells,
holding hands and snuggling on a movie day.
hot chocolate after playing in the snow,

Faith that there is life beyond with no struggles, tears or pain. No goodbyes. This body of death containing a spirit- a soul.

The spirit goes on...

My Faith isn't gone, with me forever more...

observation

We had a great week in Columbus without the kids at the EFCA conference. More observations to come...
the first?

We got on the plane and I thought to myself, "wow, there are a lot more young people flying alone these days." Then I noticed that they were a young married couple.

And by extrapolation of those observations I learned, I am old.

Ha ha... :)

Running around

Gutman boys and Wes build a fort at the park.

Micah taking care of the girls. He was so sweet to them.

There's never a better shot than a self photo. It is my favorite way to take a picture.

USA is a busy place. I have gone from rarely leaving the house to days where I am generally out. The proverbial pendulum swing. I must say I am enjoying the ability to be ABLE to go out and have
1. Warm weather
2. Somewhere to go
3. Everything in English!


Sierra is doing better at speech therapy. She understands what's expected now when we go to see Miss Kristen- work. She cries when we arrive and shakes her head and shakes her arm violently at us, clearly unhappy to be there. After we pry her out of the car and bring her into the door, she brightens a bit and really looks a lot happier.

I guess she's just like the rest of us, doesn't like the thought of starting something difficult. Then once we get started, we like it.

I wish there was some one to pry me out of my bed and make me put on my running shoes and push me out the door. Because once I get out there I really like running. The thought of it doesn't make me happy though! I LOVE my warm (king sized-memory foam topped) bed.

Really should two adults really have to share a queen? I think not!!! I LOVE LOVE my space. We traded in our king for a queen 5 years ago when we moved to Mongolia, obviously I'm thankful to have another king. Because you know, I'm royalty! :)

Thank you God and Mom and Dad Bunnell. Every morning I wake up and find I slept through the whole night without bumping into Peter and that puts a smile on my face....

Off to make chicken with a creamy artichoke heart sauce and baked potatoes and chives. The simple things that I missed in Mongolia.

Our plans are not His--- a recap of April

We are settling in to life in America for now.

We were supposed to be in Mongolia now... at least that was our plan.

God's plan seems different. His direction for us in this time has been clear on each day, but murky for the future.

God is leading us, but it is not following our plan.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9 continues to come to mind. In the fall, I had submitted to the Lord to do whatever he wanted, again. I had embraced living in Mongolia, again. I had humbled my wishes and dreams and hopes and submitted them to God, again. I was settled.

In March, Peter and I sat down (at my request) and made a planning framework for the next five years. :) It was a good plan--- well laid on a piece of paper in my notebook. It made me feel good to know what continent we were planning on being on from 2010-2015.

Now that paper lays in the dust of my old home in Selenge. It is in the notebook with all my other plans, teacher plans, house cleaning plans, menu plans, diet plans. I didn't bring it to America.

In March (the same month that we wrote our five year plan) we came to America to say goodbye to Grandpa Bob. We attended his funeral and planned some time to hang out with family. Then we heard the word apraxia.

Sierra having apraxia is totally outside of our plan. We were hoping to do speech therapy in our home in Mongolia. However, this type of therapy is totally beyond us. It is brain training to produce "motor planning" so that Sierra's brain can communicate with her mouth. Of course, we can't risk Sierra's ability to speak, so here we are.

God's plan is there, his leading us is there. Settled, however, doesn't seem to be part of the plan.

In AZ we searched for therapy with a specialist. We want the best for our little princess. We thought we had to move to MI then NM. Then we found a specialist 20 miles from family in Corona, CA. So we moved again.

Into my mom's basement. We saw the specialist, yes apraxia. Yes a year of therapy to see how she responds. Now what?

God provided through our family. They gave us a house and car. We have work to do within the mission for the year as well. All of this in less than a month....

So we are here in Highland in grandpa's old home. It is such a blessing to have a space for our family. It is a four bedroom house- I have a den! It has a nice grassy yard that is completely fenced.

At my beloved 99c store there were seeds- 9 packs for 99c. So I bought 25 kinds and planted a garden with my kids. They enjoyed a day in the mud and I enjoyed putting down roots and imagining what it will look like.

So my roots grow with the garden, one centimeter at a time until God's plan for our life is revealed in a beautiful blooming, fruit producing garden.

I don't know

Sierra did very well on Wednesday at speech therapy. She was very attentive and the teacher was great- very thorough and professional.

She was diagnosed with moderate to severe apraxia and is starting ongoing therapy on Monday and Wednesday at 11 am.

Here are some questions in my mind----

How long with it take to hear my sweet baby's voice? I don't know.

What are we going to do? I don't know.

What will we do about our house in Mongolia for now? I don't know.

Is God directing us away from Mongolia permanently? I don't know.

What will Peter do for work while we wait to hear our dear girl's thoughts? I don't know.

Are we going to go back to Mongolia to pack some stuff for this extended time in the USA? I don't know.

I am a total mess. I must admit, it is the first time in a long time that I didn't know what "the plan" is and I am numb.

I know that God is moving. I can see Him in the wind that is our life. I can see Him as he provided a car and a home for free. I can see Him in our amazingly generous family who has taken care of our every need and whim for the last three weeks. I can see him as he provided a apraxia specialist 30 minutes from the home that we have to live in. I can see Him... everywhere.

I don't doubt His care for us. I know He loves us. I know it deeply each time I look at my children and know I would never let anything but their good befall them. I know that He is my father and that He gives good gifts to His children.

So I focus only on today and I have no answers for tomorrow. Today has enough trouble of its own. I have no plan. I have less pride and I know I am weak and being carried by His hands that are greater than all.

How am I? I'm fine today. Just don't ask me about tomorrow. ;)

Instead pray for our tomorrow? Thanks. :)

Moving again

We are off to my mom's house. Sierra's appointment is Tuesday and we are looking forward to going and seeing what the specialist says about Sierra. It will be good to know what they think about her speech.

It is hard to wait to hear what will happen. We'll be taking things a day at a time to see what our future holds.

Yesterday at church, the pastor was talking about the beatitudes. "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is kingdom of heaven." He talked about how we must humble ourselves before God and that we will be "blessed" or happy in Him. It was interesting listening to him speak and say that we must admit our problems and seek help from God and others.

It made me chuckle because here we are living out of a suitcase, borrowing a car, living with family, eating at their homes, and even using their toiletries; and we totally and completely at the mercy of our wonderful family.

Poor in spirit- I'm not saying I'm poor in Spirit- but our life recently has been on of total and complete quandary and change and a picture of the fact that we are not in control. Even though I seek control and try to manage our life- it is completely unmanageable!

I once again surrendered our life to the Lord and our future to His plan.

Could I be a SLP

Speech and Language Pathologist???

Since I have a vested interested in this field now and it has a lot to do with education- I think that is a good fit.

I know me, I want every detail about a subject that is necessary to me, I want the best for my daughter. I will need to know. I will be reading every book available to me on the subject, so why not do it and get the degree??

We'll see about that, maybe in 5 years I'd have the silly degree, but in the meantime I would learn and learn and learn and help my precious daughter all along the way.

Ya, that makes sense to me.

Is your wife home?

The other day someone came to the gate and was trying to sell honey. Peter went out and the first thing that the sales person asked was, "Is your wife at home?" Peter laughed. My reputation has proceeded me. It is hard for me to say no and this person knew that too.

It is not hard for me to say no to ridiculous things, and I don't think I'm a sucker. However saying no to poor people at the gate with perfectly good products is difficult. Saying no to people that need help is nearly impossible.

I've only done it once here in Sukhbaatar. Last summer a women was selling carrots at my gate. I said no because they were really overly priced and I didn't need carrots. She looks so sad. I nearly cried on the way back to my house!

I am home now in the good ole US of A and it is so wonderful. It is so clean and warm. The food is deliciously easy and good! Seeing my kids with their family is the biggest blessing. And I am caught. I am caught by the sad fact of saying no.

I was overwhelmed yesterday at church and could hardly hold myself together. I was crying all over the place and the "saying no" was so strong I could taste it in my mouth. I could feel it around my neck as I tried to hold back the tears so hard they choked me. I could taste it when I failed and the salty tears rolled down my face.

It is so clear that saying yes to Sukhbaatar is saying no to all these other wonderful, amazing blessings. I'm so sorry for that my dear, sweet, wonderful family and friends. I love you so much.

And this comes to mind...

Matthew 19

²⁸Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. ²⁹And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.

Thank you for giving us up so gracefully and supporting us in this work. Your rewards will come a hundred fold as well of that I'm sure.

Motherhood

My children are troopers. They are amazing. The way that they flex from one thing to another, is quite amazing. This week we have taxied all around this city. I don’t have the car here, so we’ve been hailing cabs and walking about.

We walked for about an hour the other day. Weston collected rocks. Sierra knelt down with beggar children and sang with them on the street for money. Meanwhile, Weston questioned me about them. He was so disturbed and couldn’t understand why they were doing this. “Aren’t they cold mom? Why don’t they go home it’s getting dark. They must be cold,” he reasons. He’s right, those poor boys. I hope they really have a home, but begging in winter, when there are no tourists, is not very profitable, so I wonder too. Meanwhile Sierra giggles and kneels with them and holds out her hands like the boys. Everyone who passes smiles, she even makes the boys smile!

We finally arrived to eat Indian food, the real thing cooked by a man from India, they don’t bat an eye. They take off their shoes, they sit on the ground next to the short table. They look at the menu and they drink hot tea. We draw pictures and take silly photographs. Lentil soup comes and a cilantro chicken dish that is doused in curry sauce. They don’t blink and eye they eat it. They say, “lt’s good.”

After dinner, we bundle up in 2-3 layers each and hit the street again. Sierra rides in her stroller and Weston walks beside me, holding on to the stroller. Umbrella strollers are amazing things. They can take a beating and still keep working. They are great for weaving in and out of pedestrian traffic and keep in their space on a narrow side walk bursting with people. The trusty little stroller holds my 40 pound treasure so that we can traverse this foreign city together.

My kids are not perfect- by any means. They are just so able to handle this life. This boy and girl were made for it. They embrace it fairly well and are all the better for it. Weston spoke in 4 languages today, all from his memory. He wants me to translate everything. Sierra is a major joy and just full of smiles for all.

They adapt in their own ways within the talents and strengths God has given them. Weston tries to deeply understand and make his mind as orderly as possible by questioning and understanding at a deeper level than a boy of five. Sierra charms her way through Asia with her doll like face and happy heart. She blows kisses at everyone and understands emotions perfectly- she has no need for words in that talented part of her personality.

I am thankful for my children. I love them so much. I want more of them. Yes, the baby bug has hit me again. I didn’t know if it would, but my baby is three and needs another sibling. (This is not an announcement, by the way,) just a crazy woman who is overwhelmed at the grace of God.

I can’t believe what a blessing motherhood has been for me. I am so full of mistakes and sin. Motherhood points each one out to me, my laziness, my selfishness, my harshness. Really, I am all of those things and more and God uses my children to show me how weak I am and to turn me back to Him, begging for mercy on me and my kids. Asking for wisdom and guidance…

Motherhood is truly a gift.