It is hard to write when I feel down. This women did it so beautifully today. I am amazed by her writing so often.
I love that verse
You have recorded my troubles.
You have kept a list of my tears.
Aren’t they in your records?
Ps 56:8
Last year was a bit of a struggle. Sierra is slowly getting better. Yet, the cloud of denial and hope of a quick recovery is slipping away, she is most likely on a very long road. I want to cry for her, I want to cry for me. I want to cry for Peter. I want to cry for her education. I want to cry for her friendships that can't be. I want to cry for her teacher. I want to cry for a life that is far away. I want to cry for all the unknown of our future.
Sometimes I do, but all too often I don't cry. I keep it locked deep in my soul and heart and "handle it." I'm thankful for that sometimes. Things need to be handled, life taken care of laundry folded and tucked away, toilets scrubbed and children fed.
But if God cares enough for my tears, so much that He keeps them written in his book, I should let them fall and let Him love me. He knows my frame. He knows I am but dust. He is not a God that is not acquainted with my weaknesses. He lived a life so fully man that he knows the crap of this earth and the pain it doles out.
So cry I will.
4 comments:
Tears DO heal and help us understand. I think you are handling Sierra with love and treatment that will bring about all the hopes and dreams you and Peter have for this precious child. You are are a WONDERFUL MOMMY!!! Please don't ever forget that, and we love you very much! Mom
cry those tears my sweet sister. They are necessary. They do heal, or at least bring about release and that is a healthy thing. I love that verse too. It is amazing to know that God keeps a record of all your tears. He is listening. He is recording. He is answering. He is moving. He is working in your life. He is close to Sierra. He is close to you. He is close to Peter. He will prepare friends for Sierra. He will create the pathway to good teachers. He will. Please call and cry with me as often as you like. It is NEVER an inconvenience. It is ALWAYS a privilege to hear your heart.
My dear sweet daughter, God is with you, He is close to you, He sees all your tears and Sierra's, He sees the struggles, He sees Peter loss, but He isn't leaving you alone, He is moving, He is arranging every detail in your lives. He loves you just as you are! He will not waste all your heartache, He has a plan and a purpose. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul, never stop sharing, it helps us pray for you all.
I just love you so much! Mom
Just read your feelings and thoughts again, I love you Becca.
Just keep crying but know that He is working on your behalf.
I would make it all better if I could but I can't so I pray and pray for you all.
Loving you forever!
Mom
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