"too close for missiles, i'm switching to guns"

Name that quote... Top Gun. Repeated in the Hurley house until it is a piece of family culture.

Well I'm too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns. I am on total overload.

Did you know that change is external, but transition is internal?

We expect ourselves to transition as quickly as things change, but that doesn't happen. The brain needs time to catch up with the body.

External example: jet lag. This is why air travel throws you for a loop. At least if we were on a boat trans-versing the ocean our mind would have time to catch up. (but oh, how I'm thankful that I'm not on a boat right now)

But life doesn't wait... it seems on arrival from such a big change that relief should come or that there would be a sense of closure. I'm sad to say, that's not so. That is reserved for heaven alone. Rest- come to me you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. For my yolk is easy and my burden is light. hmmm?

So I'm on full shut down mode... I need to allow myself the time to transition.

It's so easy to just say to myself and the kids, pull it together, it's not that big of a deal, but it really is.

There i said it, not complaining, and still thankful for this strange life, but it is a big deal. It's not as if we were on vacation. That was our life. and that life and work are gone and there is no clarity on the future and my house is in ruins.

Because with the last years of inward transition and internal change in Mongolia, I'm not the same. I never will be. I'm odd to the core... it won't go away. So how to deal with something new? Change yet again. chameleon

Things that indicate you should cut yourself some slack:

1. You feel as though you could hyperventilate at any moment...
2. everything drives you crazy.
3. You burst into tears because you're listening to the radio
4. You ignore enormous suitcases and focus on things that aren't needed right this minute like, getting a new fridge and researching odds and ins
5. When you open said suitcases- hyperventilating and crying come to mind.
   
6. You've only slept 12 hours in the last 4 days.
7. All you want to eat is sugar
8. 
   

So tomorrow I'll be in full shut down mode.
Eating just apples... praying... listening to the sermons I missed from church and sifting through the house... thankfully the kids are with grandma and I can do that. :)